I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
