A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
