What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
