I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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