It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Randomize
