giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
