We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
