I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
