I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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