I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
