oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I have tasted many bathrooms
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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