roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
This is the high leading the old right now
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
