and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
pray to the hookup gods
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
