You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
