yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
