I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
