There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Are we still banned from the library?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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