So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
A bitchslap is in order.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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