Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
