Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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