Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
