ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
