i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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