considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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