I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
