i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
