If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
