have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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