I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
