This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My hand turned me down
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
