im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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