I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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