You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
