went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
