Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
