maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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