Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
BRING THE BAGELS
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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