You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
