i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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