I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My cat gives me a boner
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
