Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
