brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
