Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
