his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
MIDGETS
????
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
