What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
