I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize