Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
