I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
