Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
