So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
