his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
