i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
